I have lots of show ideas... this is one of my favorites. It's entertaining for all ages and never gets old! To see more show ideas and vote for me to have my own show, go HERE!!! and vote a million times if you even dare!
Brought to you by the creators of... http://billywasadeafkid.com/
Shirts I wasn't allowed to wear on TV...
I own a lot of pretty sweet shirts. These are shirts I attempted to wear on TV but was told to find something else.
1st choice... It's obvious isn't it?
Option B. Why wouldn't I wear a surfing themed tank top? I am from Utah after all.
Option C. A shirt that simply says 'BOWLING' on it with an ugly dude performing the act. The greatest athletes in the sporting world are bowlers and I respect that.
If I can't wear a surfing shirt to display my Utah roots then why not the state seal?
As a last resort, everything else getting shot down, I thought I would do some free advertising and give a shout out to my favorite show on TV.
These are the honorable mentions... Shirt that I wanted to wear with all my heart but knew they were too awesome for TV. Take note that the Van Halen shirt is actually a sweatshirt T-shirt and the Ford shirt is sleeveless.
Which one is your favorite?
1st choice... It's obvious isn't it?
Option B. Why wouldn't I wear a surfing themed tank top? I am from Utah after all.
Option C. A shirt that simply says 'BOWLING' on it with an ugly dude performing the act. The greatest athletes in the sporting world are bowlers and I respect that.
If I can't wear a surfing shirt to display my Utah roots then why not the state seal?
As a last resort, everything else getting shot down, I thought I would do some free advertising and give a shout out to my favorite show on TV.
These are the honorable mentions... Shirt that I wanted to wear with all my heart but knew they were too awesome for TV. Take note that the Van Halen shirt is actually a sweatshirt T-shirt and the Ford shirt is sleeveless.
Which one is your favorite?
Rapping (not raping) In Serbian...
When you don't work almost ever, you can spend your days starring in Serbian rap videos, sleeping in, going to the mall, or hanging out with your unemployed friends. This is me starring in a Serbian rap video. Enjoy cause it's awesome.
If you enjoy this, then you'll like being friends with my friends, http://www.facebook.com/#!/RhettandBurke?ref=ts
If you enjoy this, then you'll like being friends with my friends, http://www.facebook.com/#!/RhettandBurke?ref=ts
Work out time!!!
Conventional, boring, and old-fashioned means of getting in shape haven't cut it for years... Well now there is this! I guarantee some kind of result, whether it's desired or not. View at your own discretion, slightly erotic. Filmed by at least one of these guys!!!
Condom Conspiracy Exposed!!!
In the recent decades many people have been pouring money into a billion dollar industry, that of condoms. It has become a growing trend. Even taught in schools. Use condoms to avoid pregnancy, STDs, and as a colorful, sometimes flavorful, accessory to otherwise dull sex. What about the decades before the popularity of condoms? Were people suffering the so called consequences of "free love?" Were genital warts and pregnancies raging out of control in the human population? Was AIDs even an issue then? STDs and unwanted pregnancies are made up by the condom industry to make profit and humans have been duped! I am here to expose the problem and let you all see the light!
STDs, are they real? They say that AIDS came about from some Frenchman having sex with monkeys a few decades ago... Then sharing in manlove with other Frenchmen, then the Frenchmen having manlove and womanlove with others from around the world, spreading the deadly virus. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who would want to have sex with a Frenchman?! There is not a monkey alive that would do it with one of those guys, let alone a man or woman of a different nationality. Sure there are Frenchmen doing other Frenchmen on a daily basis, but the so called chain of events leading to the AIDs epidemic is purely fictional. Making AIDs fictional as well.
Other STDs follow the same format. Made up stories. Herpes exists, we have seen pictures. People get painful outbreaks and rashes in other places on their bodies than their genitals though. Who's to say it isn't a reaction to soap, cotton or gold rings... Crabs?! That isn't even from sex. You can get those as easy as head lice or fleas. Avoid poor people, avoid crabs. Genital warts. People get warts on their hands. Is that from not wearing a condom too? Bottom line. Condoms are a sham. Stop wasting your money!
Condoms as birth control?! Have you ever heard of someone getting pregnant even while using a condom? I have, apparently it happens. Here are my top recommendations for birth control. Some are not proven, but they are all logical. A few good punches to the ovaries, this should kill any chance those little manfish have of fertilizing. Early pull out, proven time and time again as one of the most effective. _ _ _ _ sex. It is almost 100% physically impossible to impregnate this way. Homosexuality, as many times as they have tried, the only homosexuals with children have had to adopt or have sex with a member of the opposite sex... gross.
So there you have it. Don't be fooled by the condom industries gimmicks and lies. Stop wasting money on over priced balloons and start spending it on something with a purpose... I suggest picking up a sweet habit like smoking, which by the way is healthy for you.
STDs, are they real? They say that AIDS came about from some Frenchman having sex with monkeys a few decades ago... Then sharing in manlove with other Frenchmen, then the Frenchmen having manlove and womanlove with others from around the world, spreading the deadly virus. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who would want to have sex with a Frenchman?! There is not a monkey alive that would do it with one of those guys, let alone a man or woman of a different nationality. Sure there are Frenchmen doing other Frenchmen on a daily basis, but the so called chain of events leading to the AIDs epidemic is purely fictional. Making AIDs fictional as well.
Other STDs follow the same format. Made up stories. Herpes exists, we have seen pictures. People get painful outbreaks and rashes in other places on their bodies than their genitals though. Who's to say it isn't a reaction to soap, cotton or gold rings... Crabs?! That isn't even from sex. You can get those as easy as head lice or fleas. Avoid poor people, avoid crabs. Genital warts. People get warts on their hands. Is that from not wearing a condom too? Bottom line. Condoms are a sham. Stop wasting your money!
Condoms as birth control?! Have you ever heard of someone getting pregnant even while using a condom? I have, apparently it happens. Here are my top recommendations for birth control. Some are not proven, but they are all logical. A few good punches to the ovaries, this should kill any chance those little manfish have of fertilizing. Early pull out, proven time and time again as one of the most effective. _ _ _ _ sex. It is almost 100% physically impossible to impregnate this way. Homosexuality, as many times as they have tried, the only homosexuals with children have had to adopt or have sex with a member of the opposite sex... gross.
So there you have it. Don't be fooled by the condom industries gimmicks and lies. Stop wasting money on over priced balloons and start spending it on something with a purpose... I suggest picking up a sweet habit like smoking, which by the way is healthy for you.
Heavy Petting Zoo...
Fun fact: when lamas are upset with you they regurgitate their own vomit and spit it at you. Apparently they have excellent aim and very stinky vomit. As you can see, I'm completely impervious to lamas and their vomit. Enjoy!!!
Economy Solved!
Our country has a lot of problems that are the focus of much debate and controversy. The war over seas, the question of abortions, same sex marriage, social security, the national debt, unemployment, and many more subjects are all part of the big national debate. How do we solve these problems?! While I undoubtedly could solve most if not all of these problems if I took a moment to think about them, outline a solution and put those ideas into actions, I choose to watch TV and hang out instead. I will however propose an idea on fixing all things related to the economy… You would fix this modern day crisis with one simple “weeding” in much the same way you would exterminate a pesky milk weed or morning glory vines. Destroy the roots and you destroy any future growth of the weeds. Poor people are the roots of the economic crisis in America. Rid America of the poor and we can focus on other important topics like helping or hindering the marriage of homosexual couples or finding out which politicians smoked drugs in their past.
Take for example social security. It seems to be a topic of discussion as of late… I think. Why would filthy rich people need social security? They wouldn’t! Shit, they have tons of cash. They can just sit on that while driving their yachts around trying to run over hump back whales and dolphins. If we were to somehow make the poor disappear we wouldn’t need to have social security taken out of our pay every month (for those of us who work.) Who the hell is going to live past 65 anyways, people who can’t afford to rock’n’roll all night and party every day, that’s who. We could use that extra money each month for one more round of drinks with diamonds in them, sweet new cars or a truck full of cigarettes. Rid the US of the poor and we make SS obsolete. Perhaps our children will learn about it in their history lessons at their posh private schools of the future.
Unemployment, this doesn’t take too many brain cells to figure out it is the fault of the poor people. You can argue and say, there are a lot of rich people who are unemployed. Indeed there are, I would possibly fit into this category. That is why we can’t simply get rid of all unemployed people assuming they are poor. We need to have some sort of way to separate the rich unemployed from the poor unemployed. It would have to be put to a vote as of how to do that, some of my suggestions are, anyone unemployed that is named or knows someone named Darrel is a poor jobless bum and must be dealt with. If you aren’t poring more money in the economy per month than the average monthly wage you are a nuisance. Dental exams would also help expose those financially weak links. If there are missing teeth or wearing dentures to replace those missing teeth they have two options buy veneers then and there or be removed promptly from society.
The national debt would be solved almost instantly. In a celestial society of rich people, goodness would obviously prevail. The masses would all contribute to relieving the debt from the government. Each would do his part. The poor are like a black cloud hovering over a community that wants to achieve and succeed. When the cloud is removed sunshine or goodness springs forth in copious amounts.
There are many other pluses to ridding the country of the poor, but how can it be done? In the wild animal kingdom the weak and sick are weeded out by nature. They become food for the strong, die in extreme conditions or provide entertainment for the others by hobbling around on only three working legs or trying to hunt prey with only one good eye… hilarious. In a society of big hearted richies, we allow the poor to co-exist with us. What should we do? Ship them to the Australia of the future… Antarctica? Reinstate the feudal system to allow us to live more comfortable work free lives? Perhaps we could provide jobs for them in sweatshops in china… I have pinpointed the problem and given possible solutions to solving the problem, action is the only missing ingredient.
Take for example social security. It seems to be a topic of discussion as of late… I think. Why would filthy rich people need social security? They wouldn’t! Shit, they have tons of cash. They can just sit on that while driving their yachts around trying to run over hump back whales and dolphins. If we were to somehow make the poor disappear we wouldn’t need to have social security taken out of our pay every month (for those of us who work.) Who the hell is going to live past 65 anyways, people who can’t afford to rock’n’roll all night and party every day, that’s who. We could use that extra money each month for one more round of drinks with diamonds in them, sweet new cars or a truck full of cigarettes. Rid the US of the poor and we make SS obsolete. Perhaps our children will learn about it in their history lessons at their posh private schools of the future.
Unemployment, this doesn’t take too many brain cells to figure out it is the fault of the poor people. You can argue and say, there are a lot of rich people who are unemployed. Indeed there are, I would possibly fit into this category. That is why we can’t simply get rid of all unemployed people assuming they are poor. We need to have some sort of way to separate the rich unemployed from the poor unemployed. It would have to be put to a vote as of how to do that, some of my suggestions are, anyone unemployed that is named or knows someone named Darrel is a poor jobless bum and must be dealt with. If you aren’t poring more money in the economy per month than the average monthly wage you are a nuisance. Dental exams would also help expose those financially weak links. If there are missing teeth or wearing dentures to replace those missing teeth they have two options buy veneers then and there or be removed promptly from society.
The national debt would be solved almost instantly. In a celestial society of rich people, goodness would obviously prevail. The masses would all contribute to relieving the debt from the government. Each would do his part. The poor are like a black cloud hovering over a community that wants to achieve and succeed. When the cloud is removed sunshine or goodness springs forth in copious amounts.
There are many other pluses to ridding the country of the poor, but how can it be done? In the wild animal kingdom the weak and sick are weeded out by nature. They become food for the strong, die in extreme conditions or provide entertainment for the others by hobbling around on only three working legs or trying to hunt prey with only one good eye… hilarious. In a society of big hearted richies, we allow the poor to co-exist with us. What should we do? Ship them to the Australia of the future… Antarctica? Reinstate the feudal system to allow us to live more comfortable work free lives? Perhaps we could provide jobs for them in sweatshops in china… I have pinpointed the problem and given possible solutions to solving the problem, action is the only missing ingredient.
Workin' Hard For The Money!
After a week of this, I'd be shocked if I weren't a millionaire! I bought the cookies at $3.50 a box and was selling them for upwards of $5.00 a box. I am the middle man everyone tries to avoid. You should also visit this link if you haven't yet.
My First Step Towards Manhood!!!
Many people have questioned when I would man up and become a responsible, fully independent, active pillar of the community. Well, wait no longer!!! I have made my first step towards becoming a man's man, the best kind of man to be.
Brought to you by the geniuses that brought you http://billywasadeafkid.com/ a film you will probably hate, but maybe not.
Brought to you by the geniuses that brought you http://billywasadeafkid.com/ a film you will probably hate, but maybe not.
European Pooping Standards
What is wrong with the standard American toilet design? You sit on a seat with a hole in it, poo in a bowl full of water, and flush it down. It seems like a good enough idea. It is one that most of you probably take for granted. I myself thought nothing of it until I spent some time in Europe. Since I have been there, I have seen two other types of toilets. While they do have an increase in the toilets we are familiar with, these other two designs are still available and quite easy to find, especially in older establishments.
The first of these two, and perhaps the most confusing upon first glance is the famous French squatter. It can be found in public parks and any place that isn't a home or nice hotel. It is basically a hole in the ground, with two elevated platforms about an inch high on which to place your feet... Sometimes there is grip tape on these platforms to avoid slippage. Then you drop'em and squat. Aiming roughly for the hole in the ground. There are usually remnants of those with less than awesome aim. That's pretty bad right? It gets worse... Most of us have probably squatted to defecate at one time or another when camping, etc. With these squatter style toilets, the real challenge is when you are finished. First, you must balance there to wipe, there usually isn't anything to hold onto and you definitely don't want to fall back. You also don't want to stand up before cleaning up, that just makes a bigger mess of things. If you manage to wipe and get your pants up without falling in your own shit you are doing good, but there is still more to come... The flushing. I recommend no flush as you will almost inevitably get some splash on you at the very least. Basically from the wall behind the hole a gush of water is shot out from a rather large opening. Some of it goes in the target and does a sub par job of getting rid of the doodoo. The larger portion of the water spreads across the floor of the room in a small tidal wave. You can tip toe around and do some shimmying to avoid getting wet, but you are having an awesome day when you walk away with slightly wet shoes... or feet, if you are in flip-flops. Who invented this toilet and why is it still in existence? Even if people wanted to squat instead of sit, there could be some spectacular advances added to this design to make it much more user friendly.
The second toilet I like to call "The poo shelf." This toilet is much more common, but equally as perplexing. There is a small basin or dish shaped shelf inside the toilet, it is dry, no water there. This is where the feces will drop when excreted. Then when flushed, the water comes from the back of the "poo shelf" and pushes the poo off of the shelf to it's watery exit at the very front of the toilet. There are a few problems with this style of toilet. First of all, you are having to deal with the stench of "poo out of water." Since while you are in the act the poo is sitting there in the open air on the shelf or throne. This stink will hover for much longer than the poo in water smell or even a strong fart. The best thing to do to avoid having to smell this while dumping is snort a line of the strongest pepper you can find before using the toilet. Your eyes will probably water a bit, but not as much as they would from the "poo out of water" smell. Secondly since the flush mostly consists of water pushing the poo off the shelf, there is almost always streaks, which means there is always some toilet brushing to do afterwards. While I would argue that the toilet most of us are used to is the superior design, there is a plus to this toilet. After laying some pipe, you can stand up and inspect your own log. If a picture needs to be taken due to any records this crap might have broken, it is set up perfectly. You don't need to bother with the mess of water and toilet paper blocking the view as you can strategically place the used toilet paper to leave the little monster exposed.
For the most part I am speaking about these things from observation of others only, as I don't poo. I eat the exact amount of calories that I burn and am too pretty to take craps anyways. For those of you that poo, I would suggest doing it when you have to as opposed to holding it in.
A salute to all poopers, even though I think pooping is gross and morally wrong,
Tyson
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